En Francais

I’ve always had a low opinion of the French so it’s no surprise that during my last European trip I spent as little time in the country as possible. Almost all the French people that I’ve met have been arrogant, pompous and rude, and similar stories abound from people that I’ve talked to. With this […]

A Smelly Australian in Paris

All through this trip I haven’t booked anything. It was not so much a plan as a philosophy, and while it was stupid, childish and landed me in the shit quite a lot, I also enjoyed the fact that it put me in unusual situations. I broke my code by booking two nights in Paris […]

Goodbye to Old Blighty

The Dam lived up to expectations but my expectations are probably different to some. You can have a few different experiences in the city. Drink 50 pints before throwing up all over yourself and your hooker, enter the cafe on Friday and emerge on Sunday night amid clouds of smoke, or take some magic mushrooms […]

The Trains in Spain are Mainly a Pain

It’s been a long time since my last email so rather than send a mammothly huge email I’m just sending a gargantuan one. I’m going to have to summarise these cities, partly for brevity, partly because they’re not so fresh in my mind and partly because this French keyboard is going ooh la la on […]

Rome is where the Pope lives

WARNING! The following email is sacrilegious. If you are likely to be offended by any such material I strongly recommend that you stop reading now. As you have continued to read on I feel free to heap sarcasm, scorn, and weirdness upon the catholic church.

You can’t deny that Rome has played a massive part […]

Life is like a Canal

Venice was never one of those cities that I really wanted to see. What’s so great about canals? We have them in Canberra but they’re called stormwater drains and are bone dry for most of the year. The canals in Britain usually double as the local tip. As for romantic, it’s hard to top a […]

It’s Travel, Not a Holiday

I’ve been watching the pigeons in the park and I could become quite a pigeon fancier. I never noticed on the pigeons in London but when the sun catches their neck it reveals glowing green and purple colouring. The pigeons in Verona are big and fat. If you can’t make it as a pigeon here […]

The Streets of Milan are Laced with Posion

I left you in a train in north Italy as the heavens opened resulting in the windows being forced shut and the train carriage reaching levels of humidity on a par with a rainforest. It’s not a place you want to be stuck in so I’ll move you on. I never wanted to go to […]

Switzerland Means Land of the Still Water in Swahili

I was staying in Zurich (emphasis on the rich) which is built around an enormous lake. You can see the other side of the lake but it’s so long that it stops being Zurich before the lake finishes. I was glad to be near some water as it was still damn hot. The first morning […]

You Are Like a Cat

This is what a middle-aged French gentleman said to me when I accidentally scratched his finger on the way out of the elevator at the youth hostel in Vienna. He was more right than he knew. I do have quite strong nails, I love sleeping and lounging around, a dead mouse can keep me entertained […]