Pretty similar to Melbourne weather really
The second half of my flight started badly. I’d had about two hours of partial sleep on the way in, and was feeling a little tired, it being about 4 am Australian time. As the flight was reboarding my spare seat was cruelly taken from me. I don’t know who took it because I didn’t talk to her for 14 hours. For those who know me, take a bad morning, combine it with a trip by car to Melbourne, add my’‘Leave Me Alone’ T-shirt, and you’re getting close to the kind of mood I was in. Let’s just say I wasn’t feeling bubbly. This mood was worsened by the French family of four that took up the row in front of me. It was bad enough that they were French but they proceeded to lean their seats back as far as possible and slip into a sweet slumber. I now had the Australian family behind me, practicing their soccer skills, and the French family rubbing my nose in it by getting the sleep that I wanted. They were stealing my sleep!
For the next 14 hellish hours I tossed and turned, or whatever it’s called when you roll from side-to-side with your ankles around your ears. I’m sure there’s the making of a blond joke in that. To cut the story as short as I wanted the flight to be, I was damn uncomfortable and didn’t sleep at all. Thankfully my Uncle was at the airport to pick me up and after phoning home I proceeded to sleep for around 15 hours. You may think this is a lot, and it is, but I felt much better for it. I woke up at midnight and have been up for around 12 hours. I’m hoping to make it to the night but Bracknell isn’t very entertaining. Bracknell is where my Uncle lives. For those who don’t know where it is, get an atlas, because I don’t either. I know it’s about an hour outside London, which is my next port of call. You might think it will be tougher to find a place to live and a job than sitting on a plane for 22 hours, but try telling my ass that. With my ass behind me I can achieve anything.
My impression of England so far is a little clouded. I haven’t really seen the sun since my flight took off. The leg from Bangkok to London was all in darkness, it was cloudy at Heathrow when I arrived, I slept all day Monday, and it’s cloudy and goddam wet today. At last! I’ve found a place where I won’t get sunburnt.
There aren’t that many differences between England and Australia. Sure the weather’s different and people don’t talk proper, like, but it’s a very similar culture. The one major difference I’ve found is the supermarket. The checkout chicks are about ninety and they all had to sit down. This means that you have to bag your own groceries. If it weren’t such a long flight back I’d be tempted to leave the country on protest.
My visit to the local Bracknell park yielded some unimpressive results. I saw lots of ducks (two) and lots of squirrels (two). Squirrels are just like possums but sized like rats and with permed tails. I can hear you all clamouring for me to come back but you’re all going to have to come and see me. I’m not flying back to Australia until they get sub-orbital planes off the ground and cut the trip to three hours. I love you all but don’t miss any of you yet. If you don’t receive a personal message from me don’t be offended. It’s not that I don’t like you, just that I don’t have anything to say.
Dave out.
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