The Dam lived up to expectations but my expectations are probably different to some. You can have a few different experiences in the city. Drink 50 pints before throwing up all over yourself and your hooker, enter the cafe on Friday and emerge on Sunday night amid clouds of smoke, or take some magic mushrooms and walk around like a zombie with a smile. I chose the latter option and went to visit the Van Gogh Museum. The museum was to tripping what a club is to pilling. I started out looking at some Cuyp, a largely uninspiring Dutch painter famous for ‘capturing ligh”. He never left the city he was born in so the result is a lot of paintings of the harbour and cows. Van Gogh, in comparison, pops out from the canvas in a weird set of daubs which at one stage began to shift around. The colours stood out even brighter and I spent two hours wandering around and smiling.
Amsterdam was the last leg of my tour of the continent. Europe was as expected – lots of beautiful old things and lots of people, but it was a great experience and I saw a lot of amazing things.
The next leg of my trip takes me to the United States of Arrogance. Apparently they invented freedom and are furiously trying to market it to the rest of the world. It’s impossible not to have an opinion about America. They are a financial, political and cultural gargantuan. I hope to answer some questions about them. Are they really that stupid? Do half the country look like sumo wrestlers? If you replaced George Bush with a chimp would anyone notice? If you joke about September the 11th will anyone laugh? Are the children born fat? Do they understand satire yet? I hope so. These and many more questions will be answered by a panel of experts before being given the all clear for your perusal.
I leave this grey land with a light heart and a curious mind. I might be back, I might not, but all the best to those I won’t see for a while.
Dave out.
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